Sunday, August 07, 2005

To My Dear Departed Mother

THE RAIN, again, grieved yesterday. Almost at the same time last year. Dark clouds suddenly enveloped the sky—and rain made The Bonfires stop a show at the park. Indeed, The Blue Sky God/dess “exclusively” owns the sole power to make me pause from my beautiful madness. So that I can deal with my own personal, private life.
Last year, the rain poured as we prepared a concert at the “Bonfires for Peace at Pritchard Park.” That afternoon last year, my Mother had a stroke and slipped into a coma. She labored and suffered in the next 12 months or so…
Yesterday, again, the rain poured as we approached the last number/the last band of the concert. I had to pause and visit my personal, private life. And so once again, the rain halted me and The Bonfires… I walked to The Indie’s office to kisten to a long distance phone message from Manila.
MY MOTHER PASSED AWAY YESTERDAY—almost at the same moments when the sky begun to give way to dark clouds last year, also at Pritchard Park, the rain once again made me pause and stop and look within.
I just lost the one original, untiring source of my life line—theheart where my spiritual umbilical cord is connected.
Right at this moment, I can only feel pain and emptiness.
I don’t know how am I’m gonna be in the coming few days or weeks. I haven’t lost an immediate family before. All I feel and know right now is -- The Traveling Bonfires and The Indie will continue to flow and venture on. I promised my Mom -- and humanity that. The dream lives on.
I offer aftermidnight prayers to my Mother. The strongest woman—deep within—that I’ve ever known in my life; the woman who knew how to love like it’s all that matters—up to the limit of her human existence. Or beyond existence.
A life passing is worth another live coming. Let us live life like it’s a gift, not a calling or a privilege. That’s what I learned from life as I continued to see wisdom in my Mom’s everlasting love for just one man, her husband, my Father. And one formidable respect and love for family—she has chosen to die around most of her loved ones back home in the Philippines, than in America. For her, family is family -- all through life and death.
To my Mother… Today—as you head somewhere not within human life… my wandering spirit comes home in your memory’s selfless love. THAT will keep me stronger, stronger… stronger.
No goodbyes, Mom-- only parting. You will always be within me!
I love you.

2:30am. 7 Aug 05
Asheville NC


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